Building Walls...

This a post that I wrote on Facebook. I wanted to copy and paste it here, since it has real meaning to me:

What a shame when we have to build walls.

Some people may not know what I mean. They just aren't the type.Others know exactly what I mean. They are the ones with fortresses, like me.

I am a "wall builder". I do this mainly for my protection, and on occasion, for the protection of my family...especially my kids. In my case, I have an extremely tender heart. It is made out of the most fragile china, and needs to be handled delicately. When it is jolted, or in the worst case, dropped, disaster ensues. I immediately scramble to try and pick up all of the pieces that are salvageable. Never mind the fact that they need to be reassembled...no time for that! I must hurry and grab some stones, rocks, and mortar.

Keep in mind, this is not always the pattern I follow. Only in certain instances, do I feel the need to build. I don't cry over spilled milk, if you know what I mean.

The need to build, in certain situations, is immediate. I would like to say it is instinctual in my case. The urge is overwhelming.

After scooping up my damaged heart, I turn to grab the first brick I can find. And before you and I know it, I have surrounded myself with a strong fortress. Here I can sit down and cry, and feel angry at the world and at Satan for getting into people's minds and souls. I can talk to God, and let him know how I am feeling. And my wall allows those, whom I know care about me, to come in and comfort me. And even though I am fuming with hurt and anguish, I can somehow find the strength to put my heart back together. But only behind the walls.

And to the ones who cause the hurt....especially when it was caused intentionally....they will miss out. They lose the opportunity to share the same air I breath. To share my heart. And is some cases, to share my husband and children. The power of a hurt mother, and the urge to guard her loved ones from evil, is a power that is overwhelming. If necessary, I will take them into my wall with me...especially my kids. They are so little, and the duty to protect them from hurt, harm, and danger, falls squarely on me. Yes, one day they will have to face adversity on their own, but for now, they need to know that Mom will always protect them.

Despite what others might think or say, I am thankful for Walls.
And now I must return to my mine.